Train like every day is the start of a New Year.
The holiday season is right around the corner and for the past 10 years I have seen the same pattern happening over and over. It seems that people develop a “I’ll get it is later” attitude when it comes to taking care of themselves and their health. They become dormant, eat more junk food than ever and are content at putting things off, even if their clothes aren’t fitting so well.
Why do we have so many people wanting to work on their fitness each year? Why do they have the “ I will wait till tomorrow attitude” when it comes to their health? The answer is simple, its mind set. Losing weight doesn’t happen overnight, in fact it takes constant, persistence and hard work. Not to mention if the results aren’t there, it can become down right discouraging AND easy to put off till next year.
Many friends and family members ask me what my best piece of advice is when they are trying to get in shape. My answer is simple: set goals, make a plan and stick with it. Attitude is everything and having a plan is key. Weather its hiring a trainer, having a workout partner or even doing it on your own its important to stick to your routine! No one wants to go through the yo-yo effect of being in shape and out of shape over and over. As illustrated below, its hard to continually start from the beginning.
Below I have included a funny story I received. Not only is it good for a laugh, but it illustrates the effect that attitude has on outlook and experience. Notice this poor guys metal toughness go down in flames from beginning to end. I challenge you to stay positive, make fitness a lifestyle and don’t wait until 2016 to accomplish all of your goals, start today!!
WEEK AT THE GYM: ONE MAN’S STORY
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.
Dear Diary. For my sixty fifth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college tennis team 45 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess – with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, all though my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air — then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda’s rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It’s a whole new life for me.
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn’t help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men’s room. She sent Lars to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine — which I sank.
I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps . I don’t have any triceps! And if you don’t want dents in the floor, don’t hand me the M—– f—– barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
I’m having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my wife (the bitch) will choose a gift for me that is fun — like a root canal or a vasectomy. ”Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand – strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO – What a Ride”! Party on Dude